Why Solo Travel With My 18-Month Old Toddler Was Such A Rewarding Experience
Happy New Year folks!
I’m back after a long, refreshing and rewarding break. And I purposely use the words “rewarding break” because it felt really good to take a pause from my daily life of parenting, work and managing a home — basically following a schedule –and catch up with family and friends but also go on my first solo adventure with Kiaan.
Spending three weeks in India with Kiaan (my husband couldn’t join us, so I was solo parenting with help and support from extended family) was an eye-opening experience in so many ways.
Before we left I was going frantic trying to ensure I had everything I needed for Kiaan — it was his first trip to India and I was so scared of him falling horribly sick and wondering how I would handle it all. I kept asking myself if I was sure I wanted to go through with the trip because when we planned it a few months earlier I was so excited but as our departure date edged closer I was getting more and more anxious. But then a little voice inside my head kept reminding me that even before Kiaan was born I had promised myself that when he would be old enough, I wanted to take him to India so that our extended family could get to know him. I’m so glad I listened to my gut because while Kiaan will not remember taking this trip, experiencing India or meeting relatives for the first time, I will always remember this trip for so many reasons.
My bond with Kiaan deepened in an unexpected way. I always believed I knew him inside out. But when it was just us in India in several new surroundings, he was way more attached and started demanding for his “mama”. If I left the room for even a minute, I’d hear his adorable little voice asking for “mama” within seconds. It seems pretty obvious that a child will always look for their mother when she’s not around but this time it was different because I knew he had no one else and nowhere else to turn to for the kind of comfort he needed until he got familiar with the faces around him. After all Papa, big bro Milo and all the familiar places and spaces he knows were miles away in Bangkok. So suddenly Kiaan calling me “mama” had this added emotional weight and drama, which I never really experienced before; it elicited a different, instant guttural response from me. It hit me that he’s no longer a baby — he understands everything even if he can’t express everything — and there’s no more treating him like one. I am, of course, way more attached to him after spending so many days together but also I feel more in sync with his emotions and what he’s trying to communicate. Our India trip was a catalyst in helping us understand each other better.
Taking Kiaan to meet extended family from both mine and my husband’s sides was incredible. It was so sweet to see how Kiaan’s great grandfather, grand uncles and aunts, and uncles and aunts showered him with love and were amused by anything he would do. They could watch him all day long and not blink an eye. Being surrounded by so many people didn’t seem to phase Kiaan at all; he loved being able to convince anyone nearby to play with him and talk about “cars”. His chill attitude towards meeting new people was definitely inspiring and made me very proud to be his mom!
When I was a kid my mom used to take me and my brother to India during most of our school holidays to meet extended family (my dad often joined later) and I think because my mom made the effort to take us so frequently we have good bonds with our aunts, uncles and cousins. We may not be super close today but at least we’re not strangers. So for me there was an element of nostalgia and reliving some of my own childhood moments through Kiaan on this trip too. I was really happy I could do for Kiaan what my mom did for me. Even if he doesn’t remember any of it, all the family he met will at least know of him and remember this visit.
Traveling with a toddler is not easy. I really had to prepare myself mentally to not be too ambitious in my expectations of going out and that too with a toddler who can’t stay still for even a second. This trip was going to be about meeting family and chilling at home a lot, which honestly turned out to be just what I needed. Handling Kiaan and his routine kept me busy enough so having relaxed days without agendas and to-do lists was perfect. I indulged in lots of coffee and conversation, which was great. Being surrounded by so much family also gave me the opportunity to leave Kiaan with them for short periods of time and get some me-time in too.
I have to say I was really surprised and impressed by Kiaan on this trip — he was such a happy camper and so easy-going. And those are not words I would necessarily use to describe traveling with a toddler! Given that we changed locations and met new faces on average every 3-4 days, he was a total travel rockstar in my eyes. He’s so much smarter and more aware than I give him credit for and I think that was one of my biggest learnings and pleasant surprises through this whole experience. I’m also a better parent than I give myself credit for. At home, in daily life we’re just going through the motions and how Kiaan behaves and reacts to situations is more or less predictable. But while traveling it’s a completely different story because I was out of my comfort zone and I had to be on my toes and alert all the time. And the same goes for Kiaan — new scenarios and environments revealed different sides to his personality and as well as his intellectual and emotional growth, which I may not have noticed so quickly if we were at home.
As I said before our three-week adventure was refreshing but also super rewarding. Solo travel with Kiaan helped me grow as a parent and a person in a few ways — I had no choice but to be brave, be patient, go with my gut, live in the moment and just have fun.