The M Word – One Year Update
About a year ago, I wrote The ‘M’ Word post delving into my new mom status with a 4 month-old infant. Today, that same infant is now a busy toddler who managed to climb up on a bench in our garden in the two seconds I wasn’t looking at him.
A two second flash.
That is exactly how I would describe the past 12 months. So much has happened, so much has changed and so much is yet to come. I thought it would be interesting to reflect and give a one year update on the ‘M’ word.
Motherhood: I get it. Motherhood. I finally get it. It’s a combination of loving this (not so) tiny human in a way I cannot explain and thinking (worrying) constantly about Kiaan’s needs and making sure I’m doing or will be prepared to do all the right things when required. Yes, it’s a constant state of love, stress and Googling. I still feel some days like I’m in a competition to keep this child alive but overall I think I have moved on from that fear-driven motivation to focusing more on the little one’s growth, development and future. Another big change from a year ago is now knowing that I am not alone; I have made a lot of new mommy friends and it’s nice to know we’re in this insanity together.
Mom: I said it before and I will say it again: Mom — a very small word to describe the world’s biggest job. Not much has changed in the way I feel as a mom. I still wake up every day with this sense of responsibility and accountability towards Kiaan (and Milo!) that he is loved, safe, secure, healthy and learning and developing. The last 12 months has been an incredible journey in seeing Kiaan go from barely being able to sit upright to now being a little monkey who can climb up and down from objects. One significant change between last year and now is that Kiaan is able to identify me as his “mama”. He knows if I’m around or not and will ask for me. That’s been a major adjustment because now there’s a way for me to know when he needs me whereas before it would be indistinct cries and anyone could cater to his needs, which were also much simpler: food, poop, sleep. Now he has a special smile or specific cry that’s just for me and in a way this has made me much more attached to him compared to last year.
Mini human: Last year when Kiaan was just a few months old I would complain that he’s bored (read: I’m bored) and I couldn’t do much with him. It was hard to interact with him because I simply didn’t know what to do. How all that has changed. Kiaan and Milo are the centre of our universe and keep us spinning. They both do so many different things now — daily walks, running around the playground, read books, play dates, playgroup, swimming, brunch, travel, hanging out with grandparents and tell stories no one understands. A year ago my dream was to hang out with Kiaan and see him laugh (seriously baby giggles are everything!) and I’m so happy that today it’s a reality and I’m loving every moment of it.
Mister: The first few months with a baby is tough on your significant other. He’s trying to figure out his new role in all this madness. I think the term “new mom” gets a lot of attention and new moms do have communities everywhere to turn to for advice; I don’t think it’s the same for new dads so I think we need to be more cognizant of this fact. That being said, watching my husband grow into his role as a father has been one of the most amazing changes in the last 12 months. He’s carved out his exclusive father-kids time in his day and he’s a true partner in parenting. In the beginning it felt like only I would know how to handle Kiaan and his needs and wants but with time my husband has patiently and willingly learned how to take care of Kiaan too. We’ve managed a couple of short local getaways and a long summer holiday to the US, which for us was a true test of our parenting skills and I’d like to believe we passed with flying colours. Now I feel like my husband and I are the co-CEOs of our little family and everyday we spent a few minutes discussing Kiaan and Milo’s daily adventures — what went well, what didn’t go well, what issues need addressing and what’s next. Well, as they say — it takes teamwork to make the dream work!
Mutt: Milo is the best big brother Kiaan could ever have. The last year has literally felt like I have “cute dog and baby” videos playing on repeat in my life. The supervised playtime together and constant reminder of “be gentle” to both has paid off and now they’re the best of friends and total bros. Milo loves sneaking off with Kiaan’s toys and Kiaan loves to rummage through Milo’s toys and throw them everywhere. Milo also loves going for his daily walks with Kiaan; they both know where the front door is and get equally excited when it’s “ghoomi” (Hindi for “let’s go out”) time. There’s not much more to say except that I still stand by the fact that I believe dogs are amazing with babies and children and they complete a family. Check out my Instagram “ThatBroLife” story highlights for hilarious videos of Kiaan and Milo’s hilarious adventures.
Milk: Breastfeeding was very hard in the beginning and I wanted to quit so badly but I stuck it through and I’m glad I did. I managed to direct feed for 3 months before I moved Kiaan to the bottle and pumped milk for him and this was mainly because I had to go back to working from home full-time and needed flexibility. Kiaan moved to being exclusively formula-fed around 8 months and then to cow’s milk at 1 year. Each transition has gone well thankfully and he prefers cow’s milk to formula. Life is, of course, so much ‘easier’ now that breastfeeding / pumping is over :).
Moo: I look back and wonder how I pumped 5-6 times a day for almost 7-8 months? It all feels like a distant, hazy memory. I still think pumping is the worst part of the post-birth experience. It’s just annoying and I think I let that negative feeling consume me more than I expected. I will fully admit the day I packed my breast pump away was probably one of the happiest days of my life. I felt free and like I could focus on other things again. I know many women manage to do everything and continue pumping effortlessly but this wasn’t the case for me. I always felt my time, energy and body belonged to the pump and only after I stopped pumping did I get control of my life back. It was around this time I started to focus on getting back into shape, getting back to fixing up our house and figuring out a new career path. All said and done, I’m glad I powered through as long as I did but I’m also so, so glad it’s over!
And there you have it – my one year update on the ‘M’ word. Let me know if you had similar or different experience with any of the above. If you have any questions or comments, please do share below.
