Why Michelle Obama’s Book ‘Becoming’ Is A Vital Read For Every Woman

I recently read Becoming by Michelle Obama and I couldn’t put it down. I think the book is very well written and structured. There’s a raw honesty but also an ease, warmth and humility that permeates the pages. While reading the book, I felt like a wiser, older friend was sharing her stories with me.

Let me tell you why I think Becoming is such a vital read for every woman. And I say ‘every woman’ on purpose because I feel that no matter who you are — a teenager, a college student, a black woman, a white woman, a women of minority, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a single mother, a working mother, a stay-at-home-mom, a woman struggling to become a mother, a corporate powerhouse, a celebrity or a politician — you will find something that resonates with you in this book.

Becoming isn’t the recounting of some perfect life Michelle Obama lived; it’s the story of the people, events, challenges and opportunities that led to her becoming the girl or woman she is at each stage of her life — childhood, first love, college, first job, marriage, kids, the White House and life after. There are some key themes and ideas from the book that I related to and felt inspired by; I wanted to share them here.

Owning who you are and where you come from and always telling your story in a meaningful and positive way

Michelle Obama carried around the weight of the assumptions of being a black woman throughout her life and when she entered the White House, the scrutiny become more intense. The media picked apart her appearance and words at each of her public appearances. Of course, this upset Michelle Obama, but she realized she could not and would not apologize for who she was and where she came from. Instead, she would use her story to fuel inspiration for change and growth in the younger generation.

Encouraging hard work and hope, while also providing opportunities for learning and mentoring is important 

One thing that Michelle Obama mentions a few times in the book is how she was obsessed with “being the best”. And if she wasn’t, she kept pushing until she was. Becoming the best is not something she magically achieved on her own. It was the result of her own persistence and hard work in school and work; other adults and teachers in her life looking out for her; and mentors that Michelle Obama, herself, sought out who helped unlock opportunities that otherwise might have not been available to her. She talks a lot about the family members, teachers, and mentors who noticed when she was excelling in certain areas of life and work and encouraged her to keep going. And, now she tries to do the same for others through her work and initiatives.

Family comes first 

In the chapter about moving into the White House, Michelle Obama comments on how the role of First Lady comes with no actual salary or job description. But she knee that she will always be “mom-in-chief”, which means she focused most of her time and energy ensuring that her young daughters  — who were suddenly thrust into the public life — were protected and led as normal lives as possible.

Wanting kids and wanting to work at the same time are not mutually exclusive

Michelle Obama talks openly about her passion for work and also wanting a family when the time was right for her and Barack. She didn’t want to give up on either dream and did not apologize for putting her family’s needs first in the workplace, if it was needed. The juxtaposition of Michelle — a working mom — and her own mother Marian Robinson — a stay at home mom — shows that there is no right way to be a mom. Figuring out what it takes for one to be a happy and content parent is what should matter at the end of the day.

Maintaining friendships is important (even if you are too famous)

I think one of my favorite parts of the books was when  Michelle Obama talks about how even though she was ‘First Lady’, she still met her girlfriends for dinners or went on weekend trips like any normal woman would do. Given the surreal life she led as the President’s wife, it was refreshing to see that Michelle Obama cherishes her friends and prioritizes those relationships.

Falling in love is wonderful; opposites really do attract; marriage is a daily game of give and take; and date nights are mandatory (even if you have to fly on a private jet to NYC to make it happen!) 

I have to admit I have a lot of favorite parts when it comes to this book. Another favorite is the warmth and candor with which Michelle talks about Barack, their love for each other, their ups and downs, and their journey together so far. I want you to read it for yourself, so I won’t give too much away, but I will share one passage that I made me smile:

“Barack was an ambler. He moved with a loose-jointed Hawaiian casualness, never given to hurry, even and especially when instructed to hurry. I, on the other hand, power walked even during my leisure hours and had a hard time decelerating.” 

Don’t take yourself or things too seriously

Like I mentioned before, reading Becoming felt more like hearing a wise friend’s stories and learning from her experiences. Being able to laugh — at yourself or at circumstances gone wrong — and being able to let go is important because life is unpredictable. One day you’re a wife and mom of two in Chicago and the next you’re the First Lady and Ellen is picking on you: