Looking Back On 2021, Looking Forward To 2022
I can’t seem to reconcile with how quickly 2021 went by. It wasn’t a year marked by any big life changes or milestones, but it was a year where I experienced some significant mindset shifts. I’ll elaborate more below.
Similar to past years, I like to break my thoughts down into sections because I like to see how, if at all, different parts of my life changed.
Let’s jump in!
Parenthood
Parenthood shifted into high gear this past year…and it remains in high gear 24/7. This is something a lot of of people don’t really talk about: one kid makes life busy; two kids is living with daily mayhem (in the best way possible haha). There are no breaks, which means my organisation and planning skills were seriously put to the test this past year.
Jiyana started off the year as a 5 month old roly poly blob on a playmat and ended it as a 17-month old running up and down stairs; sliding all kinds of ways down slides; and expressing demands in her intense baby gibberish. Should I be worried that “no” and “mama” are the first words she said?
I remember the same age of 6-18 months with Kiaan and noting just how quickly much babies change during this phase. They become people with personalities and opinions in the span of a year. The newborn baby days are now a total blur — it’s also a whole chapter of my life I officially said goodbye to.
Kiaan started off the year going back to school in-person, but that didn’t last long with the second (or whatever the number) wave of the Covid pandemic hitting Thailand pretty badly. He’s been at home since April and it’s a whole different ballgame trying to keep him engaged and on routine. But not in a bad way at all. Let me tell how much he has grown up this past year — it kind of blows my mind. He talks like an adult now, notices every little thing like a hawk (“Mama, I like your lipstick today!”); asks very intelligent and pointed questions; and won’t let a thing slide (if I make a promise or mention anything, I best be prepared to follow through!).
Kiaan has also become incredibly independent and no longer requires hand-holding and coddling; we have discussions like two adults and agree (and also disagree — a lot!) on when and how things are going to happen. Another big change I noticed is how he is building and defining relationships on his own and how he relates to his me, his dad, little sister, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and friends in different ways. It’s really amazing to see all the different bonds and how he cherishes them.
For me parenting and raising a family has a whole different meaning this year. I read somewhere that parenting is about showing up for your kids. It really doesn’t matter how you show up; it just matters that you do. And I think I finally get what that means. In the past I showed up in a physical sense and was more focused on “getting things done” for the kids because they needed me in that way. But all that has changed so much this past year as they both are growing up and becoming independent in their actions and thoughts. I see a sibling relationship blossoming and our family bonds evolving and growing. So, now I find myself showing up in a different way: it’s more emotional and intangible. I want my kids to feel secure and understand what it means to be a ‘family’. And there is no doubt that the pandemic and living in lockdown for more than half the year acted as a catalyst for this shift in mindset.
Work-Life Balance
Things have been relatively slow in the work area of life in part due to the pandemic, but mostly due to the fact that I didn’t feel like rushing back into work or being stressed looking for new clients. I worked with one client for the first half of the year on a long-term project and it was a great experience. While Kiaan was going to school, I was able to manage my time between the kids schedules and work well. However, with the second lockdown in Bangkok, things went a bit haywire, and I found myself in the dreaded hell that is online learning. Naturally, my focus on work took a back seat for a few months. I hustled when I could, but taking on any new clients was not feasible.
I’ve been freelancing for 3 years now and it’s not easy — at all. I think it worked for me while I was still in the phase of family planning and with young babies and toddlers, but it is really hard to sustain in the long-term. I came to the unexpected realisation in the latter half of 2021 that I think I’m ready for something more structured and full-time. The anxiety of leaving my kids in someone else’s care for long periods of time is a lot less from previous years and I think that’s helped push me to explore going back to work full-time. My hope for 2022 is that at some point both kids will be going to school and be busy with their own schedules, so that I can comfortably be away for larger periods of the day.
I don’t even know if you can have “balance” between kids and a career. I know you can have both, but it’s never balanced and that it is okay; in fact it’s very normal. Accepting this is another big mindset shift of 2021.
Blogging
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, then you know that I love this platform. I love everything about blogging and content creation, writing, ideation, and building an online community.
I didn’t write on the blog as frequently as I have in previous years, but there is a reason why: I shifted focus into video content creation on Instagram and TikTok a lot more this year. The idea of being a ‘content creator’ in front of the camera overwhelmed me, but it is also something I always wanted to do. I firmly believe there isn’t enough representation online for women of colour who are in their mid-to-late thirties and older and I want to start filling in the gap. Seeing the rise and popularity of short form video content, I knew it was something I had to embrace. So, I pivoted and focused more on beauty, skincare, and self-care video content. And guess what? I’m really enjoying it!
While my growth is very (very!) slow and the competition in this space is intense, I find so much joy from creating and sharing content and interacting with my community! Seriously, thank you for all the encouragement, engagement, and positive vibes — it keeps me going. I know that content creation is not something I will do full-time, but it’s been such a beautiful thing to call my own and escape to when I have needed most (especially in Covid times).
Another reason I have not been as consistent with blogging is because whenever I find time I am also tweaking and tinkering on the back-end of my blog, which is over three years old and very much due for some much needed upgrades. I have some big-ish plans for the blog and my overall content creation strategy this year, so that is something I am very, very excited to work on and share with you when the time comes. Things are happening…it’s just happening at snail pace 🙂
Health & Fitness
I started the year off in a very strange place with regards to health and fitness. After popping Jiyana, I was hyper focused on getting back into exercise and fitness as soon as I was cleared by the doctor at 6 weeks postpartum. I exercised regularly, but saw no change in my fitness and health after almost 5 months. I can’t say I’m too surprised because I was still breastfeeding and pumping and the body requires extra calories to do this.
But I was just shocked to see absolutely no changes despite being so active. I know I needed help to get back in shape. I couldn’t do it on my own anymore. So I hired a nutritionist and went on an 8-month journey to get my health back. And I did. It was crazy hard, but I am so glad I did it because I am a changed person, inside and out. I am armed with so much knowledge and discipline that I feel fully in control of my body and health. It is so empowering!
I also made one lifestyle change: I walk every single day for an hour and make sure I complete 10,000 steps (the one hour walk is included in my 10K, if you’re wondering). It’s just become a part of my daily routine and I love it; I use that hour as a form of me-time and it works wonders mentally and physically. As a result, I am fitter, more agile, and way more active with the kids.
But I didn’t go on my hardcore fitness journey only to lose weight. The main motivator was (and remains) being able to keep up with two active kids. I’m not a young, bouncy, energetic 20-something. I feel my age. I’m not old, but I feel like a woman in her mid-thirties…and sometimes I need to lie down, okay?
Bottom line: I have to take good care of myself and my health every day, so that I can take care of my loved ones. It’s become a daily practice and it’s been one of my greatest achievements of 2021.
Family & Friends
I am grateful. I can’t say it enough. Similar to 2020, I lived in a little social bubble with my family and a few friends for most 2021 too. But I am so grateful for every single person in my bubble because they kept me going. While large celebrations and parties were not possible, I enjoyed so many intimate celebrations with close loved ones. Whoever said “quality over quantity” needs an award or something. Because it’s so damn true.
My little wish from last year’s blog post was to see my friends and family overseas in 2021. And believe it or not, it actually came true!
Thailand opened its borders in November and just in time for me to be able to attend a family function in the US to see lots of family I hadn’t seen in many years as well as some of my college besties. I wasn’t able to travel with the kids or hubby, but it was a dream come true to see and hug people. While the borders were briefly open, I was able able to have family visit Bangkok and we had the most incredible reunion. I am forever grateful for all of these memories because things can change in an instant. #Omicron
Travel
Most of 2021 was spent in Bangkok. We didn’t really go anywhere because the lockdown here was intense. But I managed a few local beach trips with family and friends and those were great distractions from lockdown life.
And just when I was about to write off 2021 in terms of travel, a miracle happened: I was able to get on a plane, travel halfway across the world, and hug people I hadn’t seen in years. Not to mention it was a child-free trip, so this mama was living it up. I think being able to travel safely and see family and friends filled my soul. Talk about ending the year on the best note possible.
I really hope 2022 brings travel back into all of our lives.
Like I mentioned earlier 2021 wasn’t a year of big external change, but looking back I think it was a year of big internal change for me. I am happy to say that I leave 2021 with a huge sense of self-assuredness and contentment in who I am and where I am in my life. I don’t have all the answers and I’m okay with it.
With that said, I wish each and everyone one of you all a very Happy New Year. I hope 2022 brings good health and lots of happiness.
