I Forgot How To Have A Conversation On The Phone And Other Ways Using A Smartphone Has Changed My Life, Relationships and Behaviour
“I’m a millennial girl in the millennial world”.
I think that’s how the lyrics to my version of the infamous song would go.
So I found out recently that I’m considered a millennial (defined as the generation of people born between 1980 to 2000), which is just crazy because I don’t really see myself as a millennial. Maybe a senior citizen kind of millennial but definitely not a TikTok-ing one.
And this revelation got me thinking about how much technology has evolved in my lifetime and I thought it would be interesting to see how technology, and more specifically owning a smartphone and using apps, has changed my life, relationships and behaviours for better and worse.
Forgetting how to have a conversation on the phone is a very real issue; I get nervous when my phone rings or I have to make a call. Why can’t I just text?
With texting becoming a very normal (and much easier) way to communicate, I’ve become lazy and complacent about making the effort to make phone calls. I’m that person who gets annoyed and shocked when my phone rings. Is it an emergency? Why is this person calling me? Texting allows me to multitask, be on-the-go and be lazy and reply when I feel like it; a phone call today feels like it’s so much effort when it’s really not. In some cases, it’s the more effective way to communicate and get things done faster and I need to remember that.
Making friends, building connections and maintaining relationships is way more fun and easier via social media apps.
I remember before it was completely normal to send friend and follow requests and direct messages (DMs) to random people, the only way to make a connection was to literally go up to strangers and introduce myself or make a cold call. When I was looking for my first job in 2008 I remember going to so many networking events and introductory coffee meetings in the hopes of building my network of contacts and finding a job. I hated it. I found it so unnecessarily formal and awkward and very disingenuous; I had no genuine connection with the person I was talking to except for the fact that I needed something from them. But with social media and messaging, it’s become so much easier and more informal to connect with people and build friendships. Social media normalises people to a certain extent so I think it makes it a lot easier to build organic relationships and find like-minded people. I also find maintaining relationships is much easier because sharing content is instant today. Family and friends from all over the world can see what’s going on in my life and vice versa without much effort.
Focusing on anything is harder. It’s a physical and mental effort to not fiddle with my phone when I am waiting or in a meeting or when someone else is talking(!).
The phone is basically an extension of my arm now. I use it throughout the day for so many different things. And when I’m not using my phone, I’m fiddling with it. It’s a really bad habit. I’m trying really hard to think what I did before having access to the internet 24/7 in my hands whenever I had to wait for someone, had a long commute, was in a meeting or was watching TV and the honest truth: I didn’t do anything! I was content just waiting in silence, being with my own thoughts, reading a book or magazine or people watching. With a phone in my hand there’s constant distraction and I’m always “connected” so I now crave pockets of time where I am totally alone and phone-less so that I can just be in the moment and focus.
Ordering online and on-demand services has made it possible to do so much more with my time. But I’m always seeking instant gratification for everything — my patience levels are almost non-existent.
Online shopping and on-demand services are the definition of living the millennial lifestyle. Everything from groceries to movies to getting a taxi can be done with a few taps on my phone. The on-demand lifestyle saves me a lot of time and lets me do what I want, when I want. In the time I am saving running to the grocery store, I get an extra hour or two of work or time to go workout and it makes a big difference to me. But because I now live with instant gratification and expect that things will happen exactly when I want but when that’s not always the case, I can see that I get annoyed and impatient way faster when there’s even a slight delay of a few minutes. Another downside is I sometimes try to squeeze in too many things into a limited amount of time because I’m used to living with the idea that everything can happen quickly and instantly when in reality it doesn’t.
Getting work done and finding work has completely changed with a smartphone. New industries, roles and work models have popped up too.
Having a smartphone as an extension of my arm is good for some things like replying to messages and getting work done — wherever I am. I am no longer bound to a computer and desk. It has also made working from home or working remotely a realistic option for me because documents and systems have moved online; I don’t have to physically be present to conduct meetings, do work and share files with my colleagues. As a mom, I am grateful for this development in technology because it means I can still have my career while also having the flexibility to manage my family. My line of work — digital marketing and content creation — was almost non-existent a decade ago because smartphones and digital/social media technology were so basic. Today, digital/social media technology and smartphones exist in a very real, complex ecosystem that is driving businesses, creating jobs, and most importantly, generating income for so many people at all socio-economic levels.
Reading long-form text (in print or online) is almost like an ancient art form; consuming bite-sized pieces of information and media is the new norm.
A few months ago, I was preparing for a long-haul flight and I was looking for a good book to read. And while researching books it hit me that I hadn’t read a book in maybe six months, if not more. Since owning a smartphone I may read two or three books a year because I now consume so much media online. All the major news organisations and publications now have apps and websites so it’s easy to read everything from the palm of my hand. And short summary social media posts and videos have become so common online that I no longer really need to read the whole article if I don’t want to. Though I have to say I’m pretty good (or maybe just used to by habit) about reading an article start to finish. It’s how I was taught to read growing up. The whole “TL;DR (too long; didn’t read)” thing makes no sense to me. While most of my news consumption has moved from newspapers and magazines to apps on the smartphone, I somehow haven’t been able to make the switch for books and novels. I prefer the feeling of holding a book and turning — not swiping — the pages; I feel so much more satisfaction and contentment from my reading experience. I’m trying to be more regular about reading a book or novel.
Are there any other ways in which owning a smartphone and using apps has affected you and your life for better or worse? Please share in the comments below.