Convo Over Coffee: Putting Myself On My Calendar First

Recently I started daily hour-long walks just in and around my condo’s garden. I never anticipated finding joy in something as simple as taking a walk but it is honestly one of my favourite times of the day for the simple reason that I can truly switch off from the demands of my everyday life for a whole 60 minutes. Whether I’m deep in thought, giggling out loud while listening to podcasts, bopping my head to pop music (I am obsessed with the song Sorry by Justin Bieber — listen to it and thank/judge me later :P) or simply listening to the sounds of the city as I walk, it doesn’t matter because this time is mine and only mine. No one needs anything from me. No one interrupts me. No one is trying to get in touch. I simply don’t make myself available and treat my walking time every day as though I am in an important meeting.

I like putting things on a calendar, as I assume many of you do too, because it helps me stay organized. Any time there’s an appointment for one of the kids or a meeting I am committing to, it goes straight into my calendar. But what I have also started doing is blocking off time for myself on the calendar. I make things like my daily walks, afternoon hangouts with the kids, self-care appointments, writing time, etc., as equally important as all the other appointments I am committed too because then I follow through with the same dedication. In fact, every week I will block off time for myself first and then accommodate for family, friends and work. It doesn’t mean that my other commitments are any less important; I’m just making my own personal priorities for the week equally important. I’ve been practicing this for a few months now and it has helped me in so many different ways.

First, I am actively making time for the things I want to do such as exercise or writing for the blog and getting them done; I don’t really have any excuses to fall back on. As a result, I give my loved ones the best version of me because I am content and fulfilled.

Second, I am finding it easier to say ‘no’ to or rescheduling engagements and appointments that don’t fit into my calendar right away. People show respect for my time and are always happy to work around my schedule. All I have to do was ask! This has allowed me a sense of balance with time in my days and weeks because I don’t feel rushed or pushed to do everything at once (I am notorious for my back-to-back planning ways but I have had to stop because it burns me out way quicker these days for obvious (I now have a zoo for a family) reasons).

Third, I am so much more present and focused with whatever task or appointment I am involved in because I have a clear sense of when it is happening and for how long. I find that my mind doesn’t wander as much on to other things on my to-do list.

What I am saying here may seem really obvious but I feel like I really needed the reminder a few months ago to put myself on my calendar before filling it up with other things. I was feeling annoyed that I couldn’t seem to find any me-time in a day and that by the end of each day all I seemed to do is stuff related to the kids (I love my kids but I need my me-time too). I was frustrated that I couldn’t find time or inspiration to write. I was angry that my fitness and health wasn’t improving. I was just cranky like a kid who doesn’t get what she wants. And it was no one’s fault. My life has gotten exponentially busier with two kids, getting back to work, managing my family’s schedules / needs, and handling the house. It’s a lot. I don’t want to complain because I chose this life and I am immensely grateful for it. But I guess what I didn’t expect was how busy it could get and how “lost” in my own life I could feel.

So while I know my time isn’t quite mine anymore — and that’s okay — I do know how to structure my days in a way that I do get to do what I need to. I fully admit there are weeks where my calendar goes awry and it’s not always perfect. But at least now I am in control and all it takes is putting myself on my calendar first.