A Few Things I’m Doing Differently With My Second Baby

I never thought this moment would come around so quickly: my second baby is almost 6 months old! It’s hard to think where the time has gone…well, I guess, I know…it’s gone into feeding, pumping, burping, changing diapers, bathing, massaging, doing tummy time, speaking baby gibberish, putting baby to sleep, picking up her pacis when she launches them from her mouth (she’s seriously talented at this!), wrangling three kids, and not sleeping.

Experiencing the whole newborn / baby stage the second time around has been a very interesting experience. There are some parts of this phase that remain unchanged and other parts that are variable. One big change for me was simply being more relaxed and having very little anxiety around taking care of my baby. And I think this sparked my confidence to try and do a few things differently with my second baby (once she was about 4-5 weeks old) to make my life easier.

As always, I’m sharing the experiences and tips below from the perspective of providing information, not trying to say what’s right and what’s wrong. So please bear that in mind as you read. I hope you find the list below interesting and insightful. 🙂

Following an eat-play-sleep routine

After my baby turned about 4 weeks old, I started focusing on an eat-play-sleep routine, which sounds very simple now that I know what it is. But with my first kid I had no clue.

To put it in a nutshell: an eat-play-sleep routine is basically how one engages with an infant: eat means to feed; play could be anything from lying in a swing or bouncer to being carried around; and sleep means naps.

So whenever my baby was awake I didn’t feel so lost as to what to do with her. I followed the eat-play-sleep routine and it really helped do two main things:

• Separate eating from sleeping: Since my baby wasn’t feeding all the time right before falling asleep — she was playing — she wasn’t dependent on milk to sleep. It set up a really good foundation to then teach her to self-soothe. It also prevented me from always turning to feeding to soothe her because I knew she wasn’t actually hungry.

• Regulate feed schedule: After my second baby turned 4 weeks old, I was able to space out and regulate her feeds to every 2.5 – 3 hours and I knew when she would be hungry vs constantly feeding because I was unsure what she needed. With my first baby I remember I fed him basically on demand because I didn’t really know if he needed it or not and he depended on feeding to soothe himself.

Learning more about newborn sleep and how to manage it

To successfully maintain the eat-play-sleep routine, I learned more about new born sleep. Specifically I focused on: how newborn babies sleep, how to look for sleepy cues, and the concept of awake windows — I think doing this really helped to better manage my baby’s routine and keep me sane!

Here are a few tips and tricks to keep in mind for those first 4 months:

• Babies sleep in 45 minute cycles during the day so essentially each nap is 45 minutes long and there will be 1 or 2 longer naps of about 1 hour and 30 minutes during the day. And typically babies have 2-3 short 45 mins naps and 1-2 long ones. Knowing this helped me basically know when I had a window of time to get something done without being constantly worried that my baby will wake up suddenly.

• Awake windows for a baby between 1-4 months are typically 60-90 minutes including feeding time. This really helped me to know when to start looking for sleepy cues (before my baby got too fussy or overtired) and put my baby down for a nap.

• Sleepy cues — there are lots but these are the ones that I really paid attention to: eyebrows suddenly appear “red”, rooting (turning head to one side) and/or staring / focusing on one spot.

• Get a portable white noise machine to help drown out outside noises. My baby quickly got accustomed to the noise and I can see she finds it very comforting. I use it everywhere I go with her — stroller, car, cot etc.

• Keep the baby’s room very dark, get black out curtains and avoid using a night light because light can disturb a baby’s sleep. I learned that babies don’t get scared of the dark or understand that concept until they turn two years old!

There are lots of great resources and baby sleep training programs out there. I think it’s one of the best investments I made.

Using a swaddle

This time around I invested in a few different swaddles that were easy to use and helped my baby sleep better.

0-6 weeks: Velcro swaddles with the arms down

6 weeks to 3.5 months: Love to Dream Swaddle Up with arms up

3.5 months onwards: Love to Dream Transition Swaddle Up Transition Bag & Halo Wearable Blankets

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Using a pacifier

I never used a pacifier with my first kid because I was very strongly advised against it by people around me. This time around I wanted to try it out and see if it can help to get my baby soothe herself and go to sleep. I waited until my baby was about 5 weeks old before I introduced it for no real reason other than I just hadn’t made up my mind about it. And I’m really glad I decided to go for it. I only use the pacifier as part of my baby’s sleep routine and nothing else so she knows that pacifier = sleepy time.

Using a pacifier has also replaced any kind of rocking or cradling required to soothe my baby. Whenever she is drowsy, I will swaddle her and lay her down in the cot and then give her the pacifier; she very quickly took to it and understood it soothes her to sleep. Of course, it keeps falling out of her mouth and she will whine for it so I did have to keep putting it back in her mouth. But she’s now close to 6 months and slowly becoming less dependent on it and can put herself back to sleep sometimes if she awakens unexpectedly. Other times I just pop the pacifier back in her mouth and she falls right back to sleep.

Avoiding too much cradling and rocking in arms especially for nap/bedtime

My first baby was rocked and carried constantly and especially when it was nap / bedtime. It was a really hard habit to break and I went through tough sleep training to break it.

This time around I make a very conscious effort to avoid carrying or rocking my baby in my arms too much and during nap / bedtime. Of course, each baby is different. My second baby seems quite happy to be left on her own in the bouncer or laying down on the play mat to play.

Doing this has really helped to establish some good sleep habits for my baby and she doesn’t require rocking or cradling to sleep and will happily sleep in her cot.

So my caveat here is: you know your baby best — follow your hunch.

Doing baby massages regularly

Once my baby turned about 6 weeks old I started massaging her with coconut oil twice daily. It’s a really fun way to bond while also strengthening her muscles and giving her a little bit of dedicated tummy time every day. And she loves it. I think it really energises her in the mornings and relaxes her before bedtime to get a good night’s sleep. I also believe it helps to reduce crying and stress in babies and improves circulation and digestion.

Just a note: I always wait about 45 minutes to an hour after my baby feeds to massage so she doesn’t spit up.

(Read more about baby massage: Baby Massage – All Your Questions On How To Get Started Answered)

I hope you found this post helpful!