Convo Over Coffee: Loving The Process Over The Plan

I like listening to podcasts where the host interviews different guests because I find listening to other people’s perspectives often helps jog my own thoughts and stimulates creativity — especially when the writing well is running dry. Much like it is these days.

Last week I listened to the Life With Marianna Hewitt by Marianna Hewitt (lifestyle influencer and co-founder of Summer Fridays skincare brand) podcast episode in which she interviews her friend and Summer Fridays co-founder, Lauren Ireland, and she said something in the episode that just stuck with me: “We become to attached to this singular dream (or plan) and we’ll do anything to reach it, but it can also be disappointing if that dream (or plan) doesn’t work out. That’s why I say ‘loving the process over the plan’ and being open to changing our minds.”

Loving the process over the plan.

That is not something someone like me — someone who doesn’t like too much change — wants to hear. If I have a plan, then I want to stick to it and see it through. I’m goal-oriented and project-driven. I hate leaving things half done. Well, if the last year has taught me anything, then it’s this: plans change and some things are beyond my control.

So what processes am I learning to like? (Love is too much of a commitment for me haha!)

Thinking on my feet

I think one of the biggest processes I am learning to like is thinking on my feet. In this season of my life with two kids at home and no real sense of when things will go back to normal, I am getting pretty good at figuring out how to keep the kids engaged with different activities and plans at home. I find myself thinking faster and planning in advance (again not a strong suit of mine because I am the queen of procrastination) to reduce the stress when my son asks “So, now what are we going to do?”. I am always armed with ideas and options.

Committing to self-care and self-love

Taking self-care and self-love seriously and sharing that it is a priority for me without fear of what others think. Let me explain. I’m spending 100% of my time at home right now. I have the choice to walk around with my mom bun and panda eyes or take a few minutes to look cute every day…and I do. I follow a morning and nighttime skincare routine diligently. I wear some makeup every day. I prioritize my health and fitness and carve out an hour for it. I do all of it because it brings me joy. I like waking up every day and having a few routines and rituals to follow, which boost my mood.

Being more honest and raw with my content

Social media makes it easy to paint picture perfect moments for others to see, but I wanted to move away from that. I made a choice to be more honest and raw because it’s what felt right to me. I like being unfiltered in my written thoughts on the blog. I like being goofy and silly on Instagram. And I like not caring anymore about what people think and playing the social media “numbers game”. I really don’t know where this new path I’m on will take me. I’m enjoying the ride while I’m here. The rest will work itself out the way it’s supposed to.

Taking each day as it comes

I wake up every day and just focus on what needs to happen that day. Sometimes it’s a day where the kids take priority and I am a mom aka babysitter all day. Nothing on my own to-do list gets done, the house is a mess, things aren’t put away and the day ends with me plopped in front of the TV (watching a K-drama!). I have learned to love doing this as much as I love the days and nights (like today) where I managed to have the time and energy to work and write. This pressure to have a set routine and be productive in the same way every day is unrealistic and I am okay with having every kind of day — lazy, whiny, productive, fun, boring, etc.

Hustling and multitasking in creative, strange ways

Seeing that my kids’ routines take priority over my time right now, you’ll see me doing things like this: having a Zoom call with my son watching Peppa Pig loudly in the background on my unmade bed. Or drafting posts and content planning on my phone while I’m on my daily walk and watching my son when he’s in the playground. Replying to emails and messages while my daughter sits on the floor and plays with Milo’s toys because they’re close by (and I’m too lazy to get hers). I’m grateful we live in an age where hustling like this is possible. I’m also grateful for my son who will call me out and say “Mama, why do you always taking photos on your phone?” (he thinks that’s all I do on my phone) and then I know it’s time to focus on the kids and leave my own to-do list alone for a while. Doesn’t make me a great mom, but this process allows me to be a content one.

So, right now while making plans and seeing them through isn’t quite possible or realistic, I’m slowly learning to focus on the process and it’s not too bad 🙂